5 Ways to Help a Sick Friend

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It happens to all of us…a sickness that knocks us down for the count. Usually we get better in a week or two and life moves on. A cold, the flu, a virus takes their toll, but our bodies are resilient and with the proper care, we bounce back good as new.

Last month I had this weird pain in my side that quickly developed into a life-altering situation. I went from being a healthy, active mom who had only a few months prior had run a marathon to barely being able to walk to the restroom. This mystery illness knocked me flat on my back and I could barely get out of bed…only to walk to the couch to rest. I had a hard time eating and drinking and there was nothing that seemed to help. After four weeks of our life being turned upside down and multiple medications later (most of them I didn’t need) we found out that I had been struggling with kidney stones. Those spiky little boogers had made my nicely ordered life miserable.

My husband took such good care of me, and my work family sent me home to recuperate but I felt useless and that made me more miserable. Not knowing what was wrong with me settled like a dark cloud over my head. It hurt to move, to cook, to drive, chauffeuring my kids to their activities and even taking a shower was difficult. Not knowing what was wrong, the doctor put me on a clear liquid diet for a long time. I lost fifteen pounds in two weeks (unfortunately, I’ve gained most of it back now). My daughter, Lily even asked me one day if I had put dark makeup on under my eyes.  

But there was a silver lining during this time. My kids learned to do things for themselves and for me. Lily took such good care of me, bringing me water, broth, and real food once I actually felt like eating. My friends, though, they really stepped up and they made our lives so much better when I was sick.  

Lily trying to hydrate me.

5 ways to help a sick friend

  • Bring food.

My friend Sandra set up a meal train for us. Click here to find out more about meal trains. Having food brought to us greatly helped since my husband didn’t have to think about what to cook. He was already taking the brunt of homework, bath, and bedtime so having food brought really reduced his stress.  (Side note— he is a wonderful cook and could have done it, but we are so thankful that he didn’t have to). If you are bringing food, you can also bring pop tarts or frozen waffles so that breakfast is taken care of too. When you are bringing food over, it is a great idea to bring it in disposable packaging or in a container that doesn’t need to be returned. That just makes it easier for all involved and you aren’t hunting your favorite taco soup bowl after you brought it over to a friend’s house (thanks for the bowl Katleyn).  If these things aren’t great for you,  gift certificates to restaurants are amazing.

Luke was my shadow and constant hand holder. All he wanted was for his mommy to get better.
  • Take the kids.

My seven-year-old son, Luke was having such a hard time staying indoors while I was sick. Normally, we are an outside family but since I was on the couch for the month, we weren’t doing much. On the weekend my friend would take him for a few hours so that her son and Luke could play. They went to the park, the movies, out to eat and played at their house. My Luke had such a good time and more importantly, he had fun with his friend instead of staring at a TV or iPad screen. Lily didn’t really want to go anywhere, she stayed close by and drew…she’s a little artist, so that is fine with me.

  • Good thoughts and prayers. 

Letting your sick friends know that you are praying, thinking about them and/or worried about them lifts us sick ones up. It’s easy to feel forgotten when you are housebound so anyone reaching out helps us to feel better. Calling and talking to a sick friend may not be the best, depending on the friend. Texting worked better for me because I slept so much in the beginning.  

  • Books and things.

Sending books or magazines is a great way to get your sick friend feeling like they have something to do. Being bored is difficult. And, let me tell you, I was bored beyond measure. For most of the time, I was sleeping or in so much pain that I couldn’t think. But when I did start feeling better, the books that I had close by were a life saver for my brain.

  • Clean house.

Yes, I know that this sounds horrible, but our house got so messy while I was sick. Everyone was so busy and the normal pick up and clean did not happen. Honestly, our house was a disaster. We had someone come in and clean the house a few times while I was sick and it made things so much easier. This has been something that we think about when other people we know are going through a hard time. A clean house is a very practical way to help.

My month of kidney stones was horrible, but these five things helped our family get through this really rough time. Our family is stronger and so are our friendships. When you have a sick friend, or even one that is going through a hard time, a simple act to do so much to turn their day around.