About two years ago, I wrote an article that seemed to hit home with a lot of other moms. It was called “My Hobbyless Life” and I lamented about how my husband had all of these hobbies (fishing, paddleboarding, woodworking – I could go on and on) and I had NONE.
I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what I liked. Should I pick up tennis? Start crafting? Maybe I’d try yoga again. But when I really thought about it, those were just hobbies I heard other people talk about. They weren’t anything that I actually wanted to do. I was desperate to find something that made me happy outside of my kids and my husband. Something that I could rely on to make me feel like myself.
Well I want you to know that I’ve found my thing.
Trying new recipes, reading food blogs, paging through a new cookbook, and then actually cooking is my thing. It’s my hobby. And I love it.
I’m not sure why it took me so long to figure this out. I think maybe because cooking seems like a normal part of life it didn’t seem unique enough to be a hobby? But I’ve made it one. I even started a Cookbook Club last year with some of my other girlfriends who love to cook too and let me tell you, it’s one of my favorite parts of my life. I’ve come to realize that my ideal night alone is paging through a new cookbook, drinking some red wine, listening to Taylor Swift and attempting the recipe. I think I might have used to be embarrassed by that, but not anymore!
I’m not sure if it’s a part of growing older, or a consequence of the pandemic, but in the past year I have come to know myself and what I like better than I ever have in my life. I’m not ashamed to say that I’m a Swiftie, that I love pop culture podcasts, and I love documentaries about scammers and cults. I’m trying to teach myself how to arrange flowers from my garden in a vase because fresh flowers make me happy. I love drinking good coffee during a long road trip. I love to wander around a new city and just walk up and down the street. I love to write. Nights with my girlfriends are everything to me. I love to look for shark teeth on the beach. I love hosting parties at my house. These are the things that make me happy, outside of my family. And now that I’ve come to this realization, I am much more aware of when something makes me truly happy.
I make a mental note: “I love this. Do more of this”.
If you’re stuck in a rut and feeling like I did a couple of years ago, I’d encourage you to write out what you truly like. Really think about the things that bring you joy, even the little things. Those little things make up who you are. I think it will help you discover who you are in this stage in life. Now that I know what these things are for me, I can focus my energy on them. When we focus on the things that bring us true joy, there’s no way we cannot be happy.
