I’m not exactly sure what my husband and I were talking about the other night, but when I went to bed, I had a realization. I’m (almost) 35, and I have zero hobbies. I can’t think of one thing I like to do. Sure, I enjoy being with my friends, going out to dinner, walking the beach . . . but those aren’t hobbies. In all honesty, it kind of bummed me out that I couldn’t think of one thing that I could consider a hobby of mine!
My husband, on the other hand, has one million hobbies. He likes to fish, tinker with his car, he took up playing guitar, he likes to garden, take the boat out, kayak, paddleboard, wants to get into surfing, has all of the gear to be an avid hunter . . . I mean the list goes on and on. Why does he have all of these hobbies, and I can’t think of one thing?
The next morning I woke up feeling curious. Was I the only one feeling this way? I posed the question on my Instagram, “Does anyone have a hobby? Why does my husband have so many and I can’t think of one?”
Surprise, surprise, I had SO many mom friends message me and tell me they are in the exact same boat. Their husbands have a ton of things they like to do, and they didn’t have anything. I truly had one friend ask if loading the dishwasher efficiently was a hobby! (She was kidding, of course). But you get it. Why do none of us moms have any hobbies?
I think it’s easy to chalk this up to, “Well, moms never have time for themselves. They are constantly consumed with their children and other people’s needs,” etc, etc, and that may be true. But have you ever really stopped to think about it? If you had free time, is there something you would actually do with it? I had some friends tell me that when they have free time, they don’t know what to do with themselves.
Do I drive around in my car by myself? Go to Target (when it’s safe)? Why don’t any of us have something that is our go-to when we do have free time? Even if I had the time, I couldn’t think of something I’d want to do. And honestly, when I think about it, it’s always been like this for me – even before marriage and kids! I was a dancer growing up, but that’s not something I’m going to do anymore. So what now?
When I started to think about things I could get into, the ideas that came to my mind felt like stereotypical “women hobbies” like crocheting or gardening, which are totally fine, by the way – just not what I think I’m into. I literally could not think of anything beyond those things. What do 34-year-old women like to do? Beats me!
But the other day, I had a little bit of an epiphany. I am going to make a point to find out what I like to do. I deserve at least one hobby that can be mine. That can be the thing that gives me a break, brings me joy and is hopefully something I can be into for the rest of my life. And something that my kids can see me do! So here I am on a search for a hobby. And I’m determined to find one.