My Hobby-less Life

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I’m not exactly sure what my husband and I were talking about the other night, but when I went to bed, I had a realization. I’m (almost) 35, and I have zero hobbies. I can’t think of one thing I like to do. Sure, I enjoy being with my friends, going out to dinner, walking the beach . . . but those aren’t hobbies. In all honesty, it kind of bummed me out that I couldn’t think of one thing that I could consider a hobby of mine!

My husband, on the other hand, has one million hobbies. He likes to fish, tinker with his car, he took up playing guitar, he likes to garden, take the boat out, kayak, paddleboard, wants to get into surfing, has all of the gear to be an avid hunter . . . I mean the list goes on and on. Why does he have all of these hobbies, and I can’t think of one thing?

The next morning I woke up feeling curious. Was I the only one feeling this way? I posed the question on my Instagram, “Does anyone have a hobby? Why does my husband have so many and I can’t think of one?”

Surprise, surprise, I had SO many mom friends message me and tell me they are in the exact same boat. Their husbands have a ton of things they like to do, and they didn’t have anything. I truly had one friend ask if loading the dishwasher efficiently was a hobby! (She was kidding, of course). But you get it. Why do none of us moms have any hobbies?

I think it’s easy to chalk this up to, “Well, moms never have time for themselves. They are constantly consumed with their children and other people’s needs,” etc, etc, and that may be true. But have you ever really stopped to think about it? If you had free time, is there something you would actually do with it? I had some friends tell me that when they have free time, they don’t know what to do with themselves.

Do I drive around in my car by myself? Go to Target (when it’s safe)? Why don’t any of us have something that is our go-to when we do have free time? Even if I had the time, I couldn’t think of something I’d want to do. And honestly, when I think about it, it’s always been like this for me – even before marriage and kids! I was a dancer growing up, but that’s not something I’m going to do anymore. So what now?

When I started to think about things I could get into, the ideas that came to my mind felt like stereotypical “women hobbies” like crocheting or gardening, which are totally fine, by the way – just not what I think I’m into. I literally could not think of anything beyond those things. What do 34-year-old women like to do? Beats me!

But the other day, I had a little bit of an epiphany. I am going to make a point to find out what I like to do. I deserve at least one hobby that can be mine. That can be the thing that gives me a break, brings me joy and is hopefully something I can be into for the rest of my life. And something that my kids can see me do! So here I am on a search for a hobby. And I’m determined to find one.

Do you have a hobby you’re super into? I’d love to hear what it is. Help me find my hobby!

20 COMMENTS

  1. I can relate. I use to play the piano and have wanted to get back into playing again for years. About 2 weeks ago, I got my grandmother piano and very excited to start back.

  2. I can so relate to this! I don’t have a hobby either! I don’t think I ever did! I would love a hobby too! But can’t think of one to do!

    • Actually since writing this post, I kind of found one! I realized that I do really like cooking and trying out new recipes, so I started a Cookbook Club! It’s our second meeting tomorrow night (we have done two virtual ones because of quarantine) and I’m kind of loving it!

  3. Horseback riding! I used to ride as a teenager and missed it terribly for years. I finally got back into it when my daughter was around 4. She’s 10 now, and rides with me. Over the years I’ve done many different things, belly dancing, trained for and ran a half marathon then a full a couple years later (never again!), taught zumba for a few years, I went to YouTube to learn to use power tools so could build jumps and obstacles for my horses. As moms, I feel it’s so important to have something that is just for us. It’s so hard sometimes to make the time, but so worth it. Is there anything you’ve always wanted to do? A class you’ve wanted to take, or a goal you’d like to accomplish? Sometimes, half the fun is trying a few different things to figure out what you love to do. Good luck in your search!

    • I love all of this! Especially watching YouTube videos to learn how to build stuff! I totally need to do that. I discovered recently that I really do love to cook and try new recipes so I started a Cookbook Club with some friends! I am loving it!

  4. Unfortunately I don’t really have a hobby either though I do garden some in the summer. Even then, it tends to get out of control when I get too busy or bored with it. What about working out? Some people really enjoy it but I guess it would depend on what you like. You could try yoga, running, spinning, weight lifting, etc tons of women really get into various workouts. Or, hiking could be fun and I’m sure there are groups to do that with so it would also be a fun way to make friends!

    • I would LOVE if I was a person who had working out as their hobby! haha. I think I probably just haven’t found the one thing I love to do. I’ve been doing a lot of YouTube barre workouts since we’ve been stuck at home and have been loving them, so many that will be my thing! Now that my boys are getting older, we have been doing a lot of hiking too and are planning a trip to Zion National Park in the Fall (fingers crossed!) to do just that!

      Thanks for commenting and sharing!

  5. I recently just started making jewelry. I saw a bracelet I liked, found similar beads, did some research and made it. I love it! It’s nice to be creative, have something to focus on and they come together quickly. Buying beads is so fun and a necklace elevates any outfit!

  6. My first thought for my own hobbies was Reading. I love reading (although I don’t get as much time to do so as I’d like). And napping came to mind- LOL. I couldn’t think of much past that- because, like you, I’m also not into crocheting or gardening. So I googled it. “Hobbies for Women”. Turns out I have quite a few, I just never really thought of them as hobbies…. and they certainly aren’t as ‘obvious’ as my husbands hobbies. I like scrap-booking, doing puzzles, playing board games (we used to host game night prior to having kids)…. so if you google it, some things might pop up that you didn’t really think constituted a hobby. I also love to get massages (I think it’s a good hobby! LOL) and to take self defense classes. So, just some food for thought, you may have more than you realize. If not, then now is a great time to try out some new ones. 🙂

    xoxo- a writer for Palm Beach Moms Blog- part of the City Mom Collective

    • You are totally right! Actually after writing this, I discovered that I do love to cook and try new recipes so I started a Cookbook Club with some friends (based off of a post I saw from another Moms Blog!)

  7. I just recently discovered watercolor! I started off messing around with my kid’s watercolor paints and found that I really liked the way the water moved the colors around.My BFF got me a subscription to a watercolor kits, and they have tons of free tutorials online. I don’t get to paint often, but it’s so fun and relaxing when I do!

    • LOVE THIS! My best friend was telling me how much she loves doing adult paint by numbers watercolor kits. I should totally look into something like this! Thanks for sharing!

  8. Thank you for wanting this. I have felt this way for years. I Had decided that this was my year to figure out what I like and don’t like. Then Coronavirus… everything I had planned is canceled. Maybe next year

  9. So glad you found that you enjoy cooking and are taking time for yourself! You can’t pour from an empty cup so it’s really important. My only real hobby is scrapbooking. I love preserving our family memories in albums

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