Who Moved the Kiwis?

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Dear Mr. Grocery Store Bagger,

You are sweet and kind, and I appreciate your effort in packing my grocery bags. But this girl likes to pack her own bags (in paper – what a travesty.)

See the thing is, I used to despise this place, but now I sort of love it. Here I prefer a party of one…although many like to try and accompany me here. Occasionally I may approach your check-out lane with wild eyes and sweat dripping from my brow…it’s because my husband wanted to accompany me, only to hijack my cart and leave me wandering your aisles with arms fulls of heavy items.

To my kids, this place is like a field trip…a fun ride (car cart) with snacks and treats (a cookie, samples of bread and lunch meats). And no field trip is complete without a stop at your toilet facilities. I appreciate your due diligence to keep a clean restroom.

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Today, I came for an hour of peace. I enjoy the quiet here, and I don’t even mind your less than catchy grocery store music. As you can see, I am enjoying my overpriced coffee. No shopping trip would be complete without the proper amount of caffeine.

I would appreciate if you could talk to your friends in produce and figure out where they moved the kiwis. I already spend over an hour a week wandering your aisles…now I just look even more dazed and confused. Who moved the kiwis? Who moved the milk?

I’d much prefer to self-check out, but I can see the others in line would prefer my 60-item order not go through this lane. I have control issues and when every other thing in life seems out of my control, I do have control over my shopping list (organized by aisle of course) and my experience.

And now you have offered to wheel out my groceries to my car. Again, you are sweet and kind, but that would require me to once again relinquish control, and I think we have already established my inability to handle that!

Until next week,

Your loyal customer Kristy