Laundry Room Love

1

“There’s no one else I wanna love but you.”

We were both standing in the laundry room, me loading the dryer with wet clothes from the washer, tears streaming down my face. I was having one of those days where I felt like such a complete failure. A failure as a mom, as a wife, and as a human being. And I had just told my husband that if he wanted to leave me, I wouldn’t blame him for doing so. Because the wife I had been lately was not the wife he deserved. And the wife I had been lately was definitely not who I wanted to be. My dear sweet husband deserved so much better. I believed this completely during that moment in the laundry room.

Recently I’ve been so caught up in the day-to-day hustle and bustle of life that I’ve sort of forgotten how to be a good wife and actually care for my husband. I’ve been working two jobs, taking kids to and from school, working night shifts and sleeping days. I’ve neglected our home, letting the dishes pile up in the sink, the laundry overflow in the hampers, and the dirt accumulate on the floors. I haven’t cooked many meals, and I haven’t shopped for very many groceries.

I also haven’t been very pleasant to be around. Irritability and frustration have been the dominating moods of my being, and I admit that I’ve been taking out a lot of my frustrations on my poor husband. He bears the brunt of me yelling and screaming about nothing important, and he stays quiet while I overreact to the most simplest of situations. He listens to me vent at least a couple of times a week about my demanding job, and while I go on and on about how it completely sucks to work in healthcare right now, he just sits there next to me, or on the other end of the phone line, and is attentive to my rant.

And so on this particularly difficult evening, with my emotions high and frustrations boiling, I let my negative self-talk convince me of the failure that I was, especially as a wife. I stood there in between the washer and dryer crying, and I basically encouraged my husband to leave me. I certainly didn’t want him to leave, but I felt he deserved so much better, and I thought that I should give him the out that he might want at this moment.

But much to my surprise, he just stared at me across the room, over the laundry on the floor that I had been neglecting for weeks, and said to me, “There’s no one else I wanna love but you.”

His words rushed over me and I felt such warmth in my heart, such love for my husband, for this man that I felt I didn’t deserve. My tears came harder then as my heart and mind were flooded with emotion. And I was reminded of the deep and unwavering love I still felt for him, and him for me, even after almost 17 years together. During that moment, I silently thanked God for sending me such a wonderful human being to be my better half.

Many a sweet word has my husband said to me in our twelve years of marriage, and in our years dating before that. But those kind words that day, him telling me that there is indeed no one else he wants to love, that was exactly what I needed to hear at that moment in the laundry room that evening. Because even though I was feeling like a completely inept wife, even though I was doubting my abilities as a mom and as a human being, my husband knew exactly what to say to get my mind back on track and away from the negative self-talk. He knew precisely what I needed to hear from him in that moment to turn my head, and heart, around.

Being together for 17 years has not been without its many trials and tribulations. Life has been hard, and not all times have been good. But even after so many years together, I am grateful to God for this man, and so very thankful that he still gets me and knows just how to lift me up out of the deepest rut. Sure we argue, we get angry at each other, we don’t always say “I love you” every night before bed. Again, those trials and tribulations… But he truly loves me. There’s no question in my mind that no matter what is thrown our way, we will persevere together, and come out stronger than before. Because God sent him to me, and me to him, and there’s no one else I wanna love but him, either.

1 COMMENT

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here