*Thank you to Nora Black for this guest post!
We met in the children’s section of the bookstore. You were playing with your toddler at the train table and my daughter walked right up and started playing with you both too. She does that a lot. She makes friends wherever she goes. She introduced herself to you and asked your name and your son’s name as they played trains together. I, on the other hand, was more reserved, overhearing your conversation with her, but still standing fifteen feet away. Wishing I too was the type that could make friends wherever I go.
I had one eye on my two-year-old son who I could tell was prone to run away from me any second now, and with the other eye I had just scanned Chelsea Clintons children’s book “She Persisted”. Suddenly my eyes started to tear up. I quickly became engrossed in the book (note to self: go back and get that book). I wanted to go over to the train table too but I also wanted to wait a minute for my eyes to dry.
My son, of course, didn’t give me the minute I needed. He darted right over there too, so me and my teary eyes followed. I sat down in the chair next to you and said “Hi” with a big smile, hoping that might somehow avert you from looking into my teary eyes. But no, because you are a decent human being, you looked into my eyes when you greeted me back. At that point, I fessed up and said ‘I can’t believe I just got all teary-eyed reading this children’s book, have you seen this one yet?’ And I showed you the book. You responded that you had not, but that you understood that sometimes you come across a really great children’s book like that and it happens. Your response was so kind, non-judgmental, and graceful. Your response was simply-put but profoundly meaningful to me. It floored me. It turned around my thinking.
You had given me grace and now I was able to give it to myself.
That took me out of my own head and at that moment, I realized how hard I had been judging myself. Yes, I got emotional over a children’s book, it’s ok. It has a beautiful message and I need to pass it on to my daughter too, I thought to myself. In the next moment, my son darted off across the room and out of my eyesight. I quickly thanked you, excused myself, grabbed my daughter, and ran after him.
Just like that, we became a missed connection. We only exchanged a few words but I know if we had kept chatting we would have found more common ground. I wish I could have reflected back to you the kindness and grace you showed me. I wish that we were still not complete strangers. I wish my son hadn’t run off and cut off our connection. But, I can’t blame him. He doesn’t know how hard it is to make mom friends. I do.
No matter how much I wish, since we can’t go back and change the past, I’m deciding going forward I am going to talk to other moms. I know- what a concept! I don’t mean talking with each other through our kids, I mean actually talking to each other. Mom to mom. Human to human. If this missed connection taught me anything, it’s that we HAVE to start talking to each other fellow mama’s. It is hard enough being a mom, making mom friends shouldn’t have to be. Make more connections than missed connections. You never know, your next bestie could be that mom at the train table too.
About the Author:
I am a mom to 2 energetic and busy toddlers, wife to Charleston’s “Chef of the Year,” and run a holistic wellness business from the comfort of home in my jammies. I love food, the ocean, yoga, Stroller Strides, and exploring more of Charleston as much as possible.
