The number of months we have been in this pandemic continues to mount. I’ve lost count of the number of decisions I make every day. My guess is it is in the hundreds. I feel like each one carries a significant threat if I make the wrong choice. The weight of the decisions I make today could have long-term consequences, not just for my family, but for those I come in contact with. Every day this feels heavy. Some days the most basic questions make me tired and anxious.
Decision fatigue is crushing my soul.
From going into the grocery store to letting my kids ride bikes in the neighborhood to seeing my parents, it all feels like a lot right now. For our family, masks are non-negotiable. You leave our property and a mask goes with you. Hand sanitizer bottles are everywhere. We wash our hands every time we come inside, which we have always done. These are the basics for us.
Anything, where there are other people involved, is a whole different story. Other people being around, means I ask what feels like a million questions. I think through what I’ve seen on social media and then, my husband and I discuss to see where the other one’s comfort level lies. By the time I have gone through these steps I want to throw my hands in the air, say a few choice words, and lock my family in a bubble. It should not have to be this hard, but as the numbers continue to rise, I feel like everyone is a threat to the health and well-being of my family. I despise this feeling.
I know life will go back to some semblance of normal, but the decision fatigue is hard. It makes my brain feel like I’m stuck in a perpetual state of both fog and crisis. I need a break from it. We all need a chance to fully take a breath.
For me, the pandemic is all-consuming. It will be for many more months with so many big decisions ahead of us. My hope for myself, and for all the moms out there, is that we give ourselves the chance to let the small things go, to recognize we, too, are surviving, and to remember to breathe through the chaos and clutter filling our minds.
