Since the birth of our daughter four years ago, I’ve worn many different career hats. I’ve worked a typical 9-5 in-office schedule, I’ve worked remotely, I’ve been a stay-at-home mom, and I’ve made my own hours working for myself.
Here’s what I can say wholeheartedly: there’s no one job that is easier; we’re all just doing our best. What others think you’re doing in your role versus the reality of the situation are vastly different.
9-5 Office Mom
When my daughter was born, I got the US standard of about eight weeks of maternity leave. That meant when our baby girl was eight weeks old, she was spending eight to ten hours a day at daycare. As an elementary school teacher, did this mean I was simultaneously pumping in a dark computer lab while I tried to eat my lunch, all in under 15 minutes? Yes. Did I get walked in on by the school secretary mid-pumping, when she unlocked my door without knocking? Also, yes.
What others think about the 9-5 Office Mom: She must look forward to work, feel wildly fulfilled by her career, and enjoy all of that independence.
Reality: She spends more time at the office with her colleagues than with her baby. She struggles with the guilt of enjoying a job AND having a baby, and she constantly convinces herself she’s made the right choice. In her free time, she fantasizes about being a stay-at-home mom.
Work-From-Home Mom
The year was 2020. As the only Instructional Technology Specialist for a K-12 school district, at a time when all learning had just gone virtual, tackling my career remotely was no small feat. Because all daycares had closed indefinitely, our newborn son and 21-month-old daughter were home with my husband and me. Trying to entertain our toddler, nurse the baby, coordinate who was Zooming and when . . . while also trying to clean the house, cook dinner, and shower every once in a while was our norm. You could say we weren’t exactly thriving.
What others think about the WFH Mom: She has the best of both worlds! She has plenty of sophisticated adult conversations, works out in the middle of the day, and stays in her pajamas as long as she wants.
Reality: She has Zoom fatigue and agonizes over the things that need to be done at home half the day. During her free time, she does household chores and Googles jobs with lots of in-office perks, like hot lunch and travel opportunities.
Stay-at-Home Mom
Shortly after we moved to Charleston, my husband and I decided I would stay home with our kids while I figured out my next career move and researched daycares. This was a short season of my life, but I grew such a great appreciation for stay-at-home moms during this season.
What others think about the Stay-At-Home Mom: She is so lucky to spend all day with her babies. She never rushes out of the house. She never misses a milestone. She gets to watch The Today Show during nap time.
Reality: She never gets a break from the house or the children. She misses adult conversations and accomplishing work tasks. During nap time, she preps the next meal, searches for grapes in the couch cushions, washes finger paint off the walls, and researches flexible part-time careers.
Self-Employed Mom
In 2021, we started our own short-term rental business. My husband continued working remotely for his 9-5 job, we found a daycare for the kids, and I took over our real estate business. Over the past two years, we’ve grown from one unit to six units, most of which were gut rehabs. From day to day, I manage our contractors, communicate with our guests, manage the cleaners, work on marketing/advertising, and anything under the hospitality industry sun.
What others think about the Self-Employed Mom: Boss babe! She is so lucky she doesn’t have to report to a boss, is in charge of her own schedule, and can rest and hustle as she pleases.
Reality: She left her 9-5 job so she could work 24/7. She has a notebook with 1,000 things to accomplish. On long days, she daydreams about when she had a boss who gave her a finite list of tasks to complete before calling it a day.
Is some of this exaggerated? Sure. But are the perspectives accurate? Absolutely. As I said, there’s no one job that is easier; we’re all just doing our best. It’s important to cheer each other on, no matter which career choices we make!
I think your doing just fine , you have been very adaptable.
Comments are closed.