*Thank you to Viktoriya Magid for this guest post.
For me, this year began full of hope and optimism. My goal was to do yoga on a more regular basis and to incorporate some weights and cardio to get my heart rate going and to tone up my body that is still supposedly recovering from my youngest who is now three. I wanted to visit my family more often and to reunite with my old friend in person. I was hoping to do a big no-kid trip over the summer as I was turning 40 this year. That was going to be my gift to myself on my big birthday.
Instead…
Instead, my big gift ended up being takeout from some seafood restaurant of which I had never heard of before but which was open and did delivery, without guests, without much to-do, surrounded by three little boys and an exhausted husband. Just another run-of-the-mill day. Oh, plus the seafood.
Instead of more frequent yoga classes, I have now attended zero classes effective mid-March and my cardio and toning consist of running after my three boys and pulling them away from one another. My trips have consisted of a drive through downtown and some hot buggy trails, and I have seen zero family since the start of it all. This has been a year of disappointments, exhaustion, anxiety, frustration, helplessness, and hopelessness. This has been the year of awfulness for many people, where my privilege is pale in comparison to what many have had to endure, including loss of jobs, loss of loved ones, and the ultimate chaos that a pandemic can bring into our homes.
But today I say to you, hang in there, tired mama!
Today let me remind you of the infinite strength, endurance, and wisdom that you already possess, even though lately you haven’t felt strong or patient or wise. Today, let me tell you a tale of how you persevered through those crazy pregnancies, how you have survived (I know, it didn’t feel like we would, every time!) those deliveries. How you were worried over every ultrasound, every doctor visit since, over milestones, over any suspicious deviation from what you thought was normal, over any teacher’s concern…
How you have lost nights and days worrying about giving enough, loving enough, setting a good example, judging yourself, then trying it all over again the next day. Let me remind you how many times you’ve felt that things were out of control and how many times it all ended up ok… your kids are going be ok.. you will make sure of it.
Let me remind you, brave mama, that your kids are more resilient than you give them credit for because from much love comes much fear. Your fear of being good enough for them, your fear of screwing them up with another hour of iPad or a “wrong” decision about how to handle school. The million never-ending mess of decisions that weigh ever so heavily upon your exhausted shoulders.
I see you, mama. I know you, mama. And I know something else… you can do this too, mama. Hang in there, it will all work out in the end. Hang in there, mama!
About the Author
Dr. Viktoriya Magid is a licensed clinical psychologist, a life coach, and a keynote speaker. Her top specialties include addiction, anxiety, depression, women’s and marital issues, effective parenting, the study of happiness, the role of vulnerability in executive coaching, stress and anger management, and achieving one’s true potential and self-actualization. In her free time, she enjoys writing inspirational and self-help posts. She lives in Mount Pleasant with her husband and their three boys, ages 3, 5, and 8.
