A few days ago, a colleague referred to me as Superwoman. She was referring to my ability to juggle work, a husband, and five children. This is something that’s been said to me quite a bit over the years. People have witnessed my struggle and see that I’m still going. I think of myself as more of a Wonder Woman because what most people don’t see is that I have the entire Justice League backing me up. Also, Superwoman was a supervillain in the comics and often was up against Wonder Woman.
I feel like there is an unspoken rule that because we are moms (women) that we must be everything to everyone. Meaning that we need to do everything ourselves because…well we’re moms and that’s what moms (women) are supposed to do. Asking for something somehow makes us weak or less than. For years, I thought that I had to be the perfect mom, wife, and overall awesome doer of all the things without any help. I felt that I was supposed to be able to do it all myself and set unreasonable expectations for myself.
There are a lot of people who have my back and who I can call on to step in and help me carry my load, however, what has been difficult for me is asking them for help when I needed it. What’s been even more difficult than that is accepting that help. Why? Because of thinking that I was supposed to do things myself and that I should be able to do them.
“Supposed to” and “Should” can be some of our biggest adversaries at times and cause some major issues like burnout, self-doubt, and depression just to name a few.
It wasn’t until I started applying what I do for work to my personal life. At work, I identify an individual’s skills and deficits and create a plan to help them have the best quality of life which included supports. Supports being the keyword here. My supports are the things that I outsource like grocery shopping, tutoring, childcare, potty training, and crafting.
Learning to recognize when I need to outsource and being okay with outsourcing is my new superpower. Although this superpower hasn’t reached its full potential just yet (I’m working on it), I already see how it serves me. Seeking out and accepting help allows me to be the best mother, wife, and Stacie I can be. Giving myself grace allows me to move forward even when I fall short.
A Quick List of Some Ways I Outsource
- Grocery Delivery/Pickup: Most grocery stores have a grocery pick-up service. I usually place my order and pick it up when we’re heading home from therapies.
- Meal Planning: I love the App MealLime. I choose my meals for the week and it makes me a grocery list that I use for my grocery delivery/pickup order.
- Household Goods: I love subscription services for my household staples. Amazon, Grove, and Boxed are my favorites these days.
- Childcare: My younger sons attend daycare and preschool at a local child development center.
- Tutor/Shadow: With virtual school, my oldest son needed more support to stay on task, and with my work responsibilities, I needed help.
- Hair Grooming: I am definitely not the best hairstylist so I outsourced this task. This also saves so much time since it can take me hours just to do my daughter’s hair.