Pregnancy After Postpartum Depression

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Postpartum depression has become almost as taboo as talking about miscarriage. Why? I have no clue as these issues need more relevance and more publicity into our mainstream lives so that women (and men) don’t feel alone or can have others to relate to.

A few months ago, we found out we were expecting baby number three. As excited as I wanted to be, I had very mixed emotions, mainly because I had such bad postpartum depression after my second child.

Unfortunately, a few close family members questioned whether or not my pregnancy was even a good thing. They thought back on the hard times I had and instead of hearing the news and being excited, they instantly told us to make sure it was “the right choice”. Mind you, I was already pregnant, this wasn’t something we were ‘thinking’ about.

Of course, I remember my postpartum and how difficult it was, but hearing any news other than happiness from close family members definitely made even me a bit nervous about being pregnant (crazy, right?) I felt like they were already setting me up to fail. Was this the response I’d get for being open and honest with them?

Pregnancy is such a beautiful gift and quite the miracle when you think about it. My husband and I are beyond lucky that we’ve never had trouble getting pregnant. This pregnancy certainly should be celebrated, right?

Almost five months into it and I’ve started feeling the baby and I am finally more excited than anything else. I know it’s the right thing for our family. But it made me wonder about other moms who dreamed of having large families but have been scared to because of a postpartum issue they suffered from. I have a dear friend that I just told I was pregnant (she doesn’t live here) and she told me of how she had always wanted more kids but her fear of having PPD again has drastically changed her view on having more children.

Having the right tools

Now, I totally understand if PPD was so hard on you that you truly don’t think it would be a safe environment if you had more children. Trust me, I’m not telling women who have had PPD to just have more children. I’m saying that if it was a dream of yours, then you shouldn’t shut that down. PPD is a MAYBE.

I didn’t have it with my first and I certainly am going to try to do all the things I learned from my PPD therapist in order to avoid it this time around, however sometimes we don’t have control over that. It’s so important to have the tools necessary lined up for that, just in case. It’s knowing who you can call (your OB/GYN) and/or a PPD therapist the moment you feel that overwhelming anxious feeling of PPD. It’s not being ashamed if you need to take medicine for however long to be in a better state of mind. I tried every holistic herb and tincture possible to avoid drugs but eventually, I knew it was the right choice.

When I had postpartum depression, I had to see a postpartum therapist and get on a drug similar to Zoloft. I hated that I had to be on a drug but I also hated feeling sad, angry or anxious for no reason. My second child hated being in the car so anytime we went anywhere she would scream bloody murder and it drove me crazy. I had days where I thought I’d just drive off a bridge or into a tree. It was awful. Hence why I knew the therapy and meds were the best choices for me.

Thankfully it didn’t last long, and I was off the meds and out of therapy after three or four months. But postpartum anxiety or depression can happen anytime in the babies first year of life and can last for as little as a week or possibly even years. It can truly change a person. It’s extremely important not to keep it to yourself and to seek help from medical professionals like I did. My therapist specialized in PPD and was an absolute godsend. I’m very thankful for her.

Excited about the future

I know that whatever happens after this pregnancy, I’m ready for what lies ahead. I can’t try to force myself not to be overwhelmed or sad because those are normal feelings, especially when you have three kids. But I feel better now knowing that I have the tools necessary for when/if those PPD feelings come.

I’ve learned so many tools to apply to daily life to help. For instance, my two-year-old still hates the car, she still screams in it and it still drives me crazy. No amount of books, food, toys, etc. helps her. But I have learned that if it gets bad to pull over and hold her, or sometimes I even have headphones in the car I can put on if I need to continue driving. I’ve also discovered a few songs (Baby Shark being one of them) to help calm her and make her happy during that upsetting time. But I’ve mainly learned to go to a happy place if I’m in traffic and cannot do anything about it.

So If you dreamed of having more kids but had a bad experience with postpartum depression or anxiety after one or more and are afraid of experiencing it again, don’t be. Embrace your options. Charleston has a TON of valuable resources (MUSC has their own PPD programs and give out grants for therapy). And remember PPD isn’t a definite. You could have that sweet baby and be on cloud nine, never once feeling PPD come about.

Did you have PPD? What helped you?

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Elizabeth O
Elizabeth resides on Johns Island with her husband and two daughters, Emma (3) and Rowen (baby). A native to South Carolina, originally from Hilton Head Island, she moved to Charleston in 2012 to be closer to family. The four of them love to travel (mostly to Puerto Rico where her husband works) and thrive on learning and educated themselves on any and all health issues. She loves teaching her daughters to garden, going to the beach, surfing and planning their next family adventure. Elizabeth is very naturally minded, having had a successful home birth with her most recent baby girl. In 2016 she went back to school to complete her certification in Holistic Nutrition for which she is very passionate about (she already has a BA in Public Relations from USC). She looks forward to working with other moms and families to help them with their health and nutrition needs.

1 COMMENT

  1. Thank you for sharing your story! And I highly encourage women who are struggling to check out Postpartum Support Charleston, a local nonprofit that helps women going through postpartum depression, anxiety or OCD. There are resources, grants for treatments and online/in-person support groups. Also, please consider signing up for the Moms’ Run in May – the largest fundrasier for this organization. All the details are at http://www.ppdsupport.org.

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