“Take the Mesh Panties”: Obscure, if Not Weird, First-Time Mom Advice


If you’ve had a baby, thought about having a baby, gotten married in which it is assumed that some day you might have a baby, then you have probably started receiving advice. Some of it is good; other thoughts you could do without.

My advice is that God, in his miraculous planning, has given you a thing called “mommy instincts.” Tap into yours and follow your gut.

However, I admit, on occasion there is a gem of knowledge hidden among all the “you should do this…” Here is my list of the most obscure advice that is actually pretty legit:

Prepare the “Ladies”

When I was expecting my first child, my mother told me to “rough up my nipples” using a washcloth in the shower to prepare for breastfeeding. After asking her to please refrain from ever uttering that phrase to me again, I responded with the only thing I could, “gross.”

But turns out, mom knows best. As one Facebook friend, who also happens to run a farm, wrote: “Any body part that suddenly gets sucked on for half an hour out of every two hours is going to be sore until the skin toughens up. Babies of all species are born with the drive to root and suckle, but not necessarily the knowledge of how it’s done. I’ve watched countless heifers absolutely waylay their new baby for pinching their teats.” You go, mama cow.

Take the Mesh Panties

I am sure you have heard by now that when you go to the hospital, you should take most of the extra supplies in your room. Extra diapers, wipes, a swaddling blanket can all leave with you and your child.

But has anyone mentioned the mesh panties? Whether you have a c-section or vaginal birth – you are going to want these little beauties.

Someone, in his or her infinite wisdom (probably a woman who just gave birth), knew we would need these incredibly stretchy, comfortable, one-size-fits-all, disposable underwear right after birthing a child. Thank you, unknown person.

Drink Wine Before Getting “Back in the Saddle”…Yes, That Saddle

At first, you are so worried about the baby coming out that you forget about how the baby got there in the first place. You are just trying to survive nightly feedings, exhaustion, and recovery while keeping your tiny bundle fed and happy.

But then you go in for your six-week check up, the doc tells you all is okay, and you go home to your anxious husband. My sister was the first to tell me that a glass of wine might be a good idea before hopping back “in the saddle.” Actually, her idea was to drink the whole bottle. Let’s just say a little liquid courage doesn’t hurt for that first uncomfortable “rendezvous.”

Breastmilk Really is Liquid Gold

Before I had a child, I heard people refer to breastmilk as liquid gold. I now know why. You know that scene in “Big Fat Greek Wedding” where her father uses Windex to cure every ailment? That is a good comparison for breastmilk.

Put it on baby acne, squeeze a bit up a stuffy nose, or on crusty eyes and watch it work it’s magic. This stuff really is amazing.

Do Not Use Google to Diagnose Your Baby

Google is both a mother’s best friend and enemy. In some ways, it is really nice to have so much information at your fingertips. In other ways, however, it is a horrible idea to have so much information at your fingertips.

I say if you are going to Google, do it with extreme caution. There is some great advice out there that likely will apply to you, but there are also some scary ones. Sometimes, when you are dealing with a sick baby, it is best to just go to your pediatrician and avoid a thing I call “Google diagnosing.”

So what about you – what is some of the most awkward, obscure advice you have received or given that has turned out to be right on point?


  1. Breast milk is also great for pinkeye. I went from full on gross pus draining nonstop one day to nothing the next. My eyes are usually sensitive so can’t handle the baby shampoo trick but milk didn’t sting or feel uncomfortable at all. Swabbed my eye with it for a few days and was in the clear.

  2. Way to go in nailing this article!
    All points were pearls of wisdom but I especially love the mesh panties.
    It absolutely had to be a woman who invented them because, unlike high heels and stockings, they are both TOTALLY unattractive and useful!
    Keep on writing my friend!

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