The Bad Moms Club

0

This article is for EVERY mom out there that has had those “bad mom” moments. You know, the moments where you hold your breath a little longer, maybe let out an “oh well” and you slightly wonder if you are still a great mom. You almost post the thing that you did but then part of you wonders if the world of social media will judge you or come after you like the people in Beauty and the Beast going after the Beast with Gaston with pitchforks in hand.

The reality and the truth that every mom needs to hear is that we all have a little bit of “bad mom” in us. But, we aren’t really “bad moms” and every mom needs to know that. We may have done something that the mom from Leave it to Beaver would never do but that doesn’t make us bad moms or any less of the amazing mothers we are. We are all simply doing our best.

This started with my son losing a tooth and realizing I didn’t have cash. I decided I could either message some neighbors at 11 pm and ask for dollars or I could go into his room, steal his money and then put it under his pillow. I chose the latter. At first, I felt guilty, and then I thought, “I can’t be the only mother with ideas like this.”

In my search to find proof that we all have moments like this but that we’re all just doing our best, I posted this question on a mom site and asked “What are the “BAD MOM” things you have done – but you are still a great mom?”

I got an overwhelming amount of responses and even had people message me privately to say that they loved the post and they felt more “normal” as a mom because of it. With permission, I am sharing some of the most favorite “bad mom” moments in hopes to give you some humor and make you feel more normal. Maybe you share this article with a friend, and perhaps it’s just a reminder that we are all moms simply doing our best and that is okay.

Real Moms “Bad Mom” Moments

  • Have junk food night once a month. Take the boy grocery shopping with his own cart, let him load it up, give him a soda and watch TV all night. He’s four. Let the judgment begin.
  • When my kids were really little, I told them the ocean was closed one day when we went to the beach. It was spring, the water was freezing and I wasn’t about to go in with them.
  • I had adorable personalized cupcakes made for my son’s second birthday at daycare. And put his brother’s name on them.
  • I told my kid if the ice cream truck is playing music it means they’re out of ice cream.
  • Calamari are chicken nugget rings… he loves them.
  • When my kids were still in rear-facing car seats, I’d go through the Chick Fil A drive-thru and order them kids meals and quietly ask CFA to trade out the toy for ice cream. Then while they ate their meals in the back seat, I’d eat the ice cream in the front seat where they couldn’t see me. 
  • Smoke detectors are Santa cams. 
  • I haven’t signed up to donate anything for class parties all school year and I have three children.
  • My kid lost a tooth on Christmas Day. Grandma put it in a ziplock to save for bedtime. I’m pretty sure leftovers were put in that ziplock. So when we were looking all over for the tooth, I painted a popcorn kernel and called it a day. Never did find who I sent the tooth home with in the leftovers. 
  • When our kids were young but old enough to know the time, I would change all of the clocks in the house back two hours on New Year’s Eve and celebrate midnight – and ringing in the New Year – at the reasonable hour of 10 pm. We did it for several years and they never figured it out. We still laugh about it, and our kids think it’s hilarious now.
  • I’ve taken my kids’ gift cards they have received from grandparents or birthdays and regifted them to THEIR friends for birthdays when I didn’t have time to run out to Target.
  • When my daughter was younger, I told her every meat was chicken as it was the only way to get her to eat it. I didn’t realize until about a year ago that I never specifically corrected her when I heard her ask to have “That ham chicken” for dinner. She’s 15.
  • I sent my daughter to the bus stop on a day there was no school. She came home 30 minutes later and said someone yelled out their car window as they were driving by “hey there is no school today.” Oops.
  • I told my son that the cameras in the school cafeteria were parent portals so mom and dad could see if he ate his fruits and veggies. I also told my son that all drugs have been contaminated with nuts (he has a nut allergy).
  • Every night, my boys ask me to come to check on them 30 minutes after bedtime. They calculate the time I will be back. They have been asking every night for 3+ years. Not once have I come back to check. If they ask, I always insist that I did but that they didn’t remember because they were asleep.
  • We used to tell our kids Chuck E Cheese was only open for birthday parties.
  • I told my kids if the car “dings” more than three times because of the passenger seatbelt warning, the car automatically alerts the police. It’s been about five years and they still believe it.
  • I used to close all the blinds and tell my kids it was raining (or about to rain) when I didn’t want to leave the house. It was always sunny and beautiful out.
  • I’ve told my kids when they were little that whatever I was eating /drinking was gross so they didn’t try to eat off my plate/drink from my cup.
  • I told my kids that the mannequins at stores were bad kids who didn’t listen to their daddy and mommy.
  • I accidentally killed my daughter’s fish. The next day while she was at school I bought her another one without telling her. She said when she got home from school, “Wow! Flutter got big!” Yes, baby! She sure did! She still knows nothing!
  • I have skipped pages while reading a book to them.
  • Last week I told my kids Santa was on his way back to pick up the toys they didn’t clean up.
  • Somehow mine has lived to be 32. I lost him once at Belk. Security came, police, the works. Apparently, I didn’t know we were still in a game of hide and seek. He was hiding in a round rack of clothes…for 30 minutes.
  • I told them some days I forget how to speak English, I would speak only Spanish so they would learn and practice.
  • I put an air tag on my three-year-old’s shoe to be able to track him but told him it let us see how fast he can run so he wouldn’t take it off.
  • My youngest woke up one morning and said her shoulder hurt. She was in karate with lots of push-ups, she hadn’t fallen or bumped into anyone. I kept telling her she slept on it wrong. After a week, I said “Fine, let’s go to the doctor and waste money” She had a fracture and to this day we don’t know how. Of course when he said “she has a small fracture blah blah blah” she yells “told ya!”
  • I didn’t have $ for the tooth fairy, but I had pesos from Mexico.-I told him the tooth fairy is international and she must have been tired.
  • During the terrible two stage, my daughter would throw a fit when it was time to leave the park. One day I decided to tell her that the clowns arrived and she could be first in line to get her face painted. I acted super excited for her. She was afraid of clowns and face paint…she was more than happy to leave right away. No tears. It worked. “Here comes the clowns” became the new “time to go.”
  • I fed my son arrabbiata sauce instead of marinara sauce (misread the jar) and he said it was spicy. I insisted it was not. He drank a gallon of water with dinner and peed his bed.
  • I used to tell my kids those race car carts at the grocery store were always broken because I hated pushing those giant things around the store and the two kids would sit close together and start fighting.
  • I used a Mr. Clean magic eraser to remove Sharpie swim team numbers and messages from my son’s back after a swim meet. Turns out it will remove Sharpie from the skin, but also removes a small layer of the actual skin. No one experienced any long-term physical effects, but my children tell this story every opportunity that arises to share one of parenting fails.
  • I told my oldest son that his eye change colors when he lies. So now he squeezes them shut whenever he’s not telling the truth
  • I blamed my two-year-old for throwing away artwork. My seven-year-old saw one of the millions of pieces of paper he colored in the trash and I immediately said, oh no! Bennett must have thrown it in there

To my fellow mommas: You are still a great, loving, exceptional mom no matter what “bad mom” things you have done. We are all a part of this club together and the more we share, open up, and give each other a pat on the back, the more we feel a little more normal at night before we go to sleep.

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here