Tips for Dealing With Your Child’s School Anxiety

So you have a child that is getting anxious for school?
Maybe your child is generally anxious.
Heck, maybe YOU yourself are generally anxious. 

I have been there. I am there. 

And I am giving you some tangible tips to (hopefully) make this a less anxious year for your sweet babies.

A couple of years ago, my son started to get anxious when he had to go to school. He said he did not feel good, he cried, he had to go to the bathroom every single morning, and almost made us late more times than not.

Sometimes we forget just how scary these times can be for kids. I know for me, it was easy to just say “Well you have to go to school honey.” I had to take a step back and realize that he was not just getting “sick” every morning but was going through some anxiety. 

Some signs your child may be giving if they have anxiety: headaches, diarrhea, nausea, or fatigue. Some will refuse to go to school and or have a hard time being coaxed into it. 

Here is what we did to help manage my son’s school anxiety:

1. I bought the book “The Kissing Hand” and we read it together. Every morning, I drew a little heart on each of our hands and reminded him that we both had matching hearts and can look at them whenever we miss each other.
2. I started waking him up with gratitude. Meaning, when I woke him up, we would talk about what we were grateful for and what we were excited about that day. We immediately started the day with something positive. 
3. I made it a point to sit with him at breakfast and slow down my own life so I could be completely present for him. 
4. I made sure his bag was packed and ready at the door each night. This eliminated one more thing to be stressed about or worry about. The easier to get out the door, the better. 
5. Someone recommended a citrus-smelling oil. For a while, we did put a little oil on a little bracelet for him. I am not sure if it worked or if it was a placebo but he did like it and it got his mind off of being anxious.
6. My family started talking about gratitude at night at dinner. This was a monumental thing for our family. I heard on a random audible book that a family would talk gratitude at night. So I thought that what if we talk about it at dinner so that way we never forget. It ends up being a habit at dinnertime to talk about gratitude. Everyone goes around the table and says something they are grateful for that day. This helped my son think about what he loved about school and what made him happy there rather than what possibly made him nervous. I remembered the things he was grateful for at night and started using them in the morning and reminding him all that he was happy for. This was a pivotal point in his school anxiety journey. (And this is exactly where the Live Inspired Gratitude Journal was born). “You can be nervous buddy, but also be brave and know you are going to have fun.” 
7. My husband surprised us one night and bought the family matching Wanderer Bracelets with all of our initials on them. We all wore them and were reminded that we had each other even on anxious days.

Here is what you need to know as a mom:

1. This is completely normal. 
2. Your child is not “different” if they have anxiety. 
3. You are a great mother. 
4. Read 1 through 3 again. 

I am happy to say that my son’s school anxiety went away for the most part. Of course, we do have times when he feels a little nervous but we now know to go back to what we know has worked and repeat it again.