To my son, when mommy brought you into this world I promised I would be the best mommy ever. That I would be there for you no matter what. That I would be the nurturing, protective, and caring mama bear you need. That I would be understanding of all your wants and needs.
But truth is, the older you get the more I really hope I’m doing this right.
You don’t know this now, but mommy and daddy are just young adults trying to raise a small human on how to be a part of this world. When, honestly, we’re still figuring that part out too. You may not understand that until you’re older. That mommy and daddy aren’t perfect. We’re flawed. So, we make mistakes too.
I’m thankful you’re still young enough that you can’t tell that mommy and daddy are just winging this. We’re giving it our best and pulling from what our parents taught us. But we take on our roles as parents one day at a time.
You’re three, which means you’re starting to develop your own personality. You’re starting to know what you like and don’t like. What you want to do and don’t want to do. You like having choices and being able to choose for yourself. And for me, I try my best to be patient enough as you develop your independence. Sometimes I get impatient, tapping my feet wishing you could pick up the pace. Other moments I try to give you space and time you need to process.
And I hope I’m doing that right.
When you’re sad, upset, or just simply frustrated I hope I’m responding to you in the way you need. I don’t want to coddle you too much or stunt your growth by stepping in too soon. Sometimes you will have to figure it out and I won’t be there to help. But then, I don’t want to be too tough. I watch as you grow angry with yourself. So, I step in and show you that I’m here to help. I’m here when you need me.
And I hope I’m doing that right. I hope I’m not setting you up for failure.
Noone handed me a rulebook on how this should go the day we brought you home. No one told me the top ten things to avoid to ensure your kid won’t grow up to be a jerk. But I hope I’m setting a good example and that you’ll be an awesome person.
I hope I’m off to a good start teaching you right from wrong, being appreciative of things, and not raising a spoiled brat. I hope I’m teaching you to be respectful, well mannered, and kind to others. I think I’m doing that.
To my son, I may not get it right all the time or miss the mark. I may overlook things or allow my own urge of perfection to get in the way, but I’m trying. As you continue to grow and get older, I hope you see that I’m giving my best and doing all that I can to keep that promise the day you came into my world.