We have a five-year-old and wanted to have another baby. We had been trying for about a year and then COVID hit. At this point, I had started losing faith that we would have another baby, even though our labs and doctors said we were healthy and to keep trying. Maybe it just wasn’t in the cards for us, which as heartbreaking as that is to think about, I was coming to terms with it.
But then I took a pregnancy test and in seconds it came back positive. The fact that it came back so quickly made me think that I had to take another. And another. it was also the absolute disbelief that I was actually pregnant. But as each test came back positive, my emotions began to explode.
First, it was excitement. After the third test, it quickly dissolved into absolute terror. I had been praying for this baby for over a year and now that this prayer had been answered, all I can think of is ‘What in the WORLD are we doing?!’
I have a few of the normal fears. This is going to change the dynamics of our family, and can I handle the sleepless nights that are coming.
But my biggest fears revolve around COVID! This virus is still so new that the answers to my questions probably don’t exist yet and there hasn’t been as much research done on the effects it can have on a pregnant woman, except to say that I’m at a higher risk of getting it.
On top of the unknown, there’s the known. Like what doctor appointments and the birth will look like. Before spouses were able to attend all appointments and now they are only allowed to be at the ultrasounds. Even then they have to wait out in the hallway until your name is called. You have to wear your mask the entire time. And when you give birth, you can only have the same one person in the hospital the whole time.
As excited as I am and also our families, this is not how I wanted my first child to experience their sibling coming into the world, to say the least!
